Friday, January 11, 2013
Well its the beginning of a new year and many people have broken goals and resolutions. As I sit here in my chair I wonder what would I be like if I was normal without having ALS. What would my concerns be and how would I be with others. I find myself doing more of what I feel I have to do and want to do in life. Not everyone is lucky enough to know what they are set out to do. Not everyone is lucky enough to do what they want. For me I had absolutely no clue of what I wanted in life before I was diagnosed with ALS. Even after it still took sometime to figure me out. Being diagnosed with a life threatening disease has a way of waking you up and smacking you in the face with reality. You know that you now have something that will not go away. So you have two choices deal with it and move on or pity and feel sorry for yourself and die before your time because you won't allow yourself to be happy. Seriously this happens but it will not happen for me. I know what I want and to do in this life. Yes it sucks having ALS is the way to find out my calling in life but at least I found out. Many people say I'm always smiling and maybe not facing this disease and that I'm in denial. Really if that was the case I wouldn't be doing what I do to help others. This disease isn't something that you can just ignore. This disease takes your ability to a whole new level of being a prisoner within your own body. Imagine yourself sitting for hours not moving, imagine not being able to talk or others not understanding you because your voice is affected by this disease. Imagine yourself sitting and watching others eat knowing you would love to join them. But you can't because you have a tube that you get fed from and knowing you will never taste the turkey from Thanksgiving or that hot dog with everything or even the pizza on a Friday night. But you can guarantee that you will get some sort of liquid for dinner. Yum!!!! Well have I made you think yet? Well if not here is another fact and yes it is personal so imagine yourself a lady having monthly periods, who takes care of that because you can't use your hands. Now that same issue, do you realize how embarrassing it is that you can no longer take care of your own self and others you depend on. Well lets be real many deal with this daily including myself but I'm lucky enough to have someone that cares and takes great care of me. Imagine if I had no one. Yes there are many people dealing with ALS that has not one person to help them. So when you see or here of someone who has a debilitating disease say to yourself how can I help them. I often think to myself if it was John and not me, would it be the same? I would love to think yes but one never will know until you are put into that situation. So now I ask am I in denial... Hell no! I am realistic and have come to terms with ALS. But I don't have to pity myself and think I'm dying every day. We all are going to at some point. I am lucky enough to do what I am able to do before that happens. So I encourage everyone of you to do a reality check on yourself and really put thought into it, ask yourself if what you are doing makes you and others happy, are you making a difference? What am I able to change or do to make my mark? Think about this and do something, because life goes on with or without you. Its up to you to make your mark. So live life strong and Never give up!